every decision made is a calulated risk.so where did ppl get the courage to make a choice? To make a mid way career move, to get married or to quit a job. hw do we knw we are making the right choice.to jus stick to their decision to the very end cos of the very initial opinion. Where did all tt confidence hail from? think i jus worry incessantly for everyone. Hope everything turns out well;)

haven been bloggin for six weeks or so but i have been so boggled down my exam preparations! Got nokia e63.lovely creature of technology! I can blog on my fav nokia. Nokia rox.. So can i suggest to yongzhong tt the design will be more ideal if it is thinner.i seem to be carryin a brick ard with me..lol and my hp is red.

K so i am seeing someone. Yes brenda u should start praying for me that i am making the best decision. Lol k he's really not as bad as we perceived him to be. I know we are talkin about someone who uses a tennis bag n used it like a sch bag. Very kek sai i know. Like he's super atheletic kind when he's maybe nt? Lol n his nose is perpetually in the air.cmon we r nt dat inferior. I din have a gd impression of him or basically ignore dis guy in my jc. He is jus this guy in jc who turns up last min cos he stays near hcjc, acting nonchalantly n went after every gal in my clique offering free tix n dinners except xiaohui n sy?lol n wat other bad stuff i wan say abt him.. N he din do well for bio but gt in medicine. also, if he doesnt have a hidden agenda, he wont chat with u. K i rest my case on him.

Lol so well, he was under observation for the longest time. And maybe if u bother to knw the person well enuff, hes nt tt bad anymore and maybe hes the right person for me.leopard may nt suddenly change its spot but he has a gd nature. Really.lol nw i nid to construct a gd case to defend him. Ya ya love is blind. K he took leave to send me to and fro for exam, breakfast lunch provided, suppers prn. Flowers on special occassions. Chicken essence n ginseng tea.. K i was touched

N u will realise tt he did change a bit.haha but when he's irritated, he still used that sickening i m the boss u listen to me tone. Nah nvr on me. But it is still there. I guess he toned down. Lol but put on alot of wt. He's my fav xiao pang. K he aint heavy, he's my xiao pang ok? Gave me plenty of reassurance and encouragement. Din pressurise me and always bring a smile on my face. I enjoy jus talkin to him n holdin hands in the car. No we dun make out.

K wat else is there nice abt him?he buy things for my family.ya love me love my family n love my friends. He ate wif meihuan twice. Ya my best fren!lol k so he passed the test.

He may still lack eq..i guess tt is his upbringing. Too elitism plus his favorable family bkgrd. I dun intend to change him but hope i can be a good influence and show him how to b more approachable.he's more polite to the waitress nw.lol k la gotta go mug. No nid to say hw nice he is cos it will be futile. I will bring him on some gatherings n you gals can c for urslves.but nt during our intimate affairs?

thankful that you are always here for me at the end of the day.
appreciate the occasional ben n jerry tt sweetens up my day.
your encouragement comes in handy when i was at my gloomiest.
touched by ur sincerity frm all the simple acts - esp for wakin up early to edit my write up. i know how bz u are.
Dedicate this entry to my long suffering "friend" who claims to be low maintenance - you know who you are. *winkz*

plannin to travel once again.. strangely after every trip i will need to go through one heart break or a break up..hahaha is it then safe to travel. But then again, what does not kill me, makes me stronger? totally disillusioned with the concept of rs..what is there more to say? phobia..so dun pressure me.. I only know how to say no n protect myself. in need of a breather...Travelling with 2 of my most favourite women in life!I love my mum!

In need of a break to go further =)

we once went there as paupers. we shall return in style..

I hate being cf to another. if it is nt bad enough at work mum has to cf with rest of my cousins who are of marriageable age are all getting hitched except me, even someone younger than me.I was totally irked. endure at work at home still must put up with such bullshit

When a GIRL is quiet ... millions of things are running in her mind.

When a GIRL is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply.

When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a GIRL answers ' I'm fine ' after a few seconds ... she is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you she is wondering why you are lying.


When a GIRL lays on your chest .. she is wishing for you to be hers forever.


When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered.



When a GIRL says ' I love you ' .. she means it.



When a GIRL says ' I miss you ' ... no one in this world can miss you more than
that.



Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person ...


Find a guy .. who calls you beautiful instead of hot.

who calls you back when you hang up on him.

who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who ... kisses your forehead.

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

Who holds your hand in front of his friends.

Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.

Who turns to his friends and says, ' That's her!! '


Dedicated to my goot fren YL,

the ball is in ur court.. dun always nua nua ok?? Anyway tt lousy past rs is so over, dun miss the nxt boat again.. Rbr wat I always tell you, u have always inspired me to be a better person and taking care of me like a da jie, so be kinder to urself and gif urself a chance cos rbr u definitely deserve it. Look at amel now, gone through shit and crap but now we are all sharing her joy of becoming a mum. We'll always support you..oh well maybe the fortune teller can be right..you'll get married by 27..ang mo age that is.. and me getting unexpectedly pregnant..wah kowz..wat a joke lo..and i jus sold myself to sgh..hmmm..ponders..

got a little irritated. was a little pissed. A friend commented with my lifestyle, i won't get a bf cos my schedule is jus too packed. Note: This friend is a guy. hehe so on second thoughts i rescheduled my dinner date with him. Well, i really too bz wat..Felt a bit resigned tt it is prolly the truth. Cos i am not too sure which bf will enjoy starin at his gf study or i myself am not used to the idea of letting ppl stare at me study. and i definitely wont be a good gf. And i wan to excel in everything. lol Had to turn down and rescheduled a few dates cos i decided studies were jus way too priority den having dinner with the opposite sex. Well girls bonding are definitely more appealing to me. Cherishing existing friendships are already stretching my tight sschedule and family ties are becoming a prominent cause for me.

as i say once and again, i wish i had 36 hrs - 12 to sleep, 12 to study and 12 to work.Get a little irritated with myself if i talk too long on the phone etc etc.. i am so tired.. sigh.. mum loves to nag tt i am gettin old and need to find a partner..blah blah.. my favourite concerned colleagues are askin me to find someone who loves me more, blah blah blah so tt i dun lose my sweet self and turns into a hormonal unbalanced creature.. wah kowz... eh but none of the guys in my life are able to make me even think of giving up my singlehood.whahaha

1. I can date whoever i like
2. I can go wherever i like and not account to anyone
3. I spend every cent on myself
4. I can grow as fat as i want
5. you can flirt with anyone when act drunk ( according to fish)
6. I dun wan to be dating jerks.period

there was once someone who possibly can change my mind but den again it takes 2 to clap. So i am jus enjoyin life to the max..bwhahaha is there something wrong with my mentality tt i am embracing the notion of singlehood or still hiding and preventing myself from getting hurt as one of my friends suggested.... Whatever the case is.. Sigh it is nt worth contemplating over. oh well, someone jus told me i have everything already so why am i being so greedy and keep wantng more..food for thought..am i really greedy??

More pixes on gathering!



slurping noodles in oblivion



Best pals!!


can't take my eyes off you!!

the gathering!!












haha see the couple behind also posing the same pattern




haha our favourite act cute pose

anyway, dunno y nowadays i feel like i am more and more like i can only be only buddy of an opposite sex den to fall in love with anyone again. yes i promise not to attract anymore ren cha as so appropriately recomended by tt.. frankly i guess i never realise how hurt and what a terrible ordeal that i went through tt it seems i am incapable of getting more hurt than ever. or perhaps i am just too busy tt i am so caught up with coping with each day, i am not even capable of thinkin much. And beneath my hee hee haha appearance, i guess i need more stability and security more than ever. and cos of my folly and mistakes, undeniably my confidence has taken a blow tt my judgement may be flawed. tt i am  invariably always making a mistake. ok gals, stop nodding ur head in agreement. i am trying ok. and well, haha i m jus nt gd enough for anyone? and yes i am tryin to be nicer to myself as encouraged by jas. Well, since i cant even take care of myself, is jus better to be single den stuck in a mess right??

but tt day when winnie brought bb shawn, i couldn't help feelin sad tt the only thing i will regret in missing out from staying single is motherhood.. sigh when shawn was resting his head on my shoulder and cooing..wow... i was like..wow i like this lil fur ball..very very much... den i met nadia in w57 and she brought her lil baby..sigh couldnt resist playing with him too..bwhahaha...

anyway my wishlist continues

1.change my hp.. nvr tot much abt nokia e71 but mh bot one n is way cool and pretty.. iphone is still first choice
2.get a car??!! (dis one very unsure)
3.bring mum to hkg

sigh if only i have more money n more time!

my eyes are going to pop out if i am forced to read another guideline...terribly devastated that the extended weekend is jus a fleeting moment and i kept having this hallucination that today is monday. Came to work at 8 am when i was supposed to work at 930 am.. oh well gorge myself silly at houseman canteen instead and have a tete-a tete with kh and lp.. *grunts about my prorated salary.. wah low eh..dun make me start..

Anyway speaking of how i spend my little rest days..was workin on sat. And sun was spent..hmm..sleeping the whole day..gosh..i dunno i was able to do it but i jus concussed.. too tired i supposed. I really have a lot of things on hand.. but well i really should put my foot down and start accomplishing them..lol

anyway, well come to my favourite topic on love.. well seems like there is no right and wrong in love.. he was clearly devastated about his passing on and was even weeping at the altar despite him gone for one month. Well i was cryin too but hey he was someone close to heart.. I spend a reasonably deal of time with him when he taught me to do my homework, when i was forced to massage him and yeah he actually enjoy me giving him pecks when i was young. The pecking stopped when i grew old but i was fond of him with his sharp tongue and caustic remarks..seriously.. lol i enjoying the sparring sessions with him and i guess i was his favourite. I remembered going to his place and he was showing off his projector screen and his beautiful house..and how i spend my pre-reg days during lunch when he was hospitalized jus listenin to him complain about the incompetent filipino nurses..gosh..it remains so avid tt in a way, i cant beleieve he is actually gone. i never ask what his inclination was and never questioned his relationship with his partner. Well, he wouldnt put up wif my probing anyway. It was all silent acceptance and secretly i was glad someone was taking care of him in a way. To me i tot there was a clear tendency that in these relationships, they wont be faithful to each other. lol in fact they were as close as a real couple can be. Putting up with much discrimination and gosspis, they have been together for 6 years. I never understood their relationship but knew tt they share an intimacy that not many of us can comprehend. If there was true love, i guess theirs was a fairy tale..with the exception that there were 2 princes in this story. It wasnt a happy ending and they didnt live happily ever after.. but as i was consoling his partner that at least you know he did love you a great deal and the sacrifices you made were not in vain. Sometimes love is not about possession and it is all about the little things you did for the person and hope tt it will be reciprocated.. i was so glad that in his last words, he apologised to his partner for scolding him all the time and that he wished he had been nicer..sigh rest well my dear, i will help you take care of him as much as i can..if you can hear me from up there or out there.. rest in peace and i do miss you.. ya i know i will stop being mushy..i can already see you giving me "that" look.

oh let me add, i promise no cheesy video clips. a speedy wedding dinner if i ever do get married and he has promised me an extra big red packet!!

Actually i am a rather happy gal now..life is full of little surprises and hiccups but i always have amazing friends at the end of the day..omigosh..i forget to send bridget the pixes..oh oh..can my dear pl do the honour??;p lol


ok i am a tad too bz to dl every single pix but ladies..i miss u gals tons and tons..

i am going with the rapid pace in life..and i promise u gals a longer entry and more upload of pretty pixes ok..lao niang very bz lar..k k update soon..goin to run..i feel fat

was going home today when i heard this new song.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=vc_RIRCAF_w
Jason Mraz featuring Colbie caillat!! Two of my favourite singers! Such a captivating song that I stood at the traffic light under the drizzle to hear what the song title is.

well time to enjoy the company of my favourite people tmr... and i wait in anticipation for my 23kg worth of books all the way from london!! I know i am such a geek!

Taking a hiatus from the blogging.

To me, there is no better way out to tell you how i really feel about the whole situation and i know you read my blog. You know when you say you din read my blog but then later on blurted out my favourite song was "way back into love", perhaps it is true then that later on you did googled and found it. But i couldnt help feel there is a lack of honesty here. And i guess I am jus better when it comes down to penning my thoughts so thought i will let you in on how i feel now. I guess we don't really know each other that well to start of with and I guess having a few bad experiences, I do not want to repeat the same mistake again. i am hoping to find something of greater permenance, someone i can trust will take care of me and make me a happier person.

A friend recently told me about the theory of 2 kinds of guys, the first is able to win the heart, the latter is able to win the mind. I am quite sure you are generally a very sweet guy to start off with and what you have done is really nice(things i would have enjoyed very much previously for your attention) BUT i guess when my mind is clear, you are evidently not what i am lookin for. Mabe i have too many past experiences with guys who are able to win the heart, and i have grown greedier in the sense that i wan someone who can win both the heart and mind. I know you did say we let nature takes its course. Still i guess ur lavish attention is stifling me. I know you said you will try to make me a happier person. You were using all the right terms but i guess in the sense of happiness, there has been someone else who din need to do anything extravagant or sweet and can still make me happy. Whether this person is in the present or past is not of significance. But I am still hoping that i will be able to find that special someone than rush into something less.

To me, my bz schedule has kinda been punishing. I am sorry my premium time has been devoted to my family and friends. haha cos i neglected them in the past, i din wan to repeat the mistake. Yesterday i had dinner only with my mum and i am still very happy that i was able to accompany her. At times, i prefer to rest den pick up ur calls. Maybe is me..i dun enjoy leading you on. I am sure we have good chemistry and we can be good friends. Lets try being friends first, Shall we?

Best friends have the innate abilities to predict each other's choice of words, decisions or actions but it still amazes me at how accurate MH is at reading me like a book. "I can predict what you are thinking and will do but i have no idea why you make this kind of decision."

If i have the answer to her probing question, I will have answered her than keep silent...well, it may be a misjudgement on my part and I know she really meant well. Sigh, and sensing her disappointment in me, i felt a little bad. Cos MH is my best friend, i really hope she can support me in all my decisions/choices, no matter how lousy or illogical they may seem to be.. tough to say it in front of her face..guess it is just too mushy to say when we have been friends like for the last decade...hmmm...and since she doesn't read my blog..hmmm.. jus writing to vent it out. Seriously I hope she is wrong...at least for once.

Was rather angry with a friend for teasing me that i can hardly wait to be attached. When prolly the reason for my abnormal behaviour is partly attributed to that particular person whom I have no wish to mention or even clarify to. Unfortunately, i dun usually remain angry for very long. Seriously if i am keen to be attached, I would already have been in a relationship. Felt wronged n misunderstood. Nonetheless, it doesnt hurt to know more people in the meantime but i am contented alone now. Whereas others' company is tolerable, i hope to find one that makes me happier than usual. And is that a good thing? I am not too sure myself.cos if that person can make me happy, similarly that person is capable of triggering other emotions in me and i, do not enjoy being vulnerable with someone whom i am still unsure will wan to take care of my heart. Oh well, rather not think about it.

K 30minutes more to the pharmacists meeting..start on my case study. it seems whenever i can knock off early, always got all these nonsense appointments..

ok i want to watch wall e..ahaha weird the first time i am asking ppl to watch animation with me...k hopefully got time...sms me whoever is keen =)

there is indeed a statistical significance ( p< 0.05%)when someone likes u. They just cant stop doin something to show how much you mean to them. Though it thoroughly irks a cold blooded creature like me (ya i know i am born in the year of pig not snake), i cant help but realised that well if a person likes you, it definitely shows. Enough to make me write a journal entry in my boss's office when i really should start on my case study DURING MY FLEXI. YA I AM THAT DARING..COMPLAIN TO THE BOSS..hahah..I get a few smses here and then askin abt when i knock off and if i have lunch. And think the initiative shows whether you are on the person's mind or not...well i think i am getting cold blooded big time cos..these sweet smses do not have a single impact on me! Oh well, better luck next time, guys.. if i do reply you, pls do not read into too much, because miss liew here is nice to everyone.. i am not interested in guys. period.. i love gals..ya read that..ok i L-O-V-E G-A-L-S. ok time to type about multi resistant bugs..i jus love my job
 

one on the left, the other on the right, what more can i ask for..hahaha

k i really heart dis song.. do u know that fish n ping guan sang a version of dis also...?? so when is our next dvd stayover, yl???!!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=8EYBfjdwoPk&feature=related

(Drew Barrymore)

current favourite song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkHTsc9PU2A

Jason Mraz.. I m yours.. Nice lei..i like

bz beyond words..so many discussions to go thro and still on call..maybe dis is the best solution to forget..

accepted another guy's offer to send me home today cos of wat my mentor says. The one who bothers to wait should be granted a chance. And she encouraged me to go out with as many guys as i can. Especially when they are genuinely nice guys. It is easier to be loved than love. As long as you dun hate them at first sight, jus go out and see lor. To find one who thinks you are one of his priorities. The one that I like, according to her, if he has any intentions he would have already made it known. The worse i can ever get is a guy with commitment phobia or who is unable to accept the past. So why should I be wasting my time. Then she ended off by sayin I wont be 25 for very long..well maybe all she said wasn't what i already din knew but the very fact that mr white prolly had some commitment phobia issue or din like me jus hit me hard.. k lor the dr is a nice guy and i dun dislike him on first sight..sigh k see how lar..

den i realise it is pathetic to wait around and love..ok like the guy. ya sure even if u dun hope anything for return, sometimes i do feel pathetic like a little pup waiting for treats. Askin him if hes free to c me eat, accompany me shop and prolly he did all these cos he felt bad having make me wait. and knowing he is bz, like i very bu zi dong go and bother him..hmmm... den i sometimes send too sweet an sms cos darn.. i din think properly..shucks..eh 1230 am lar..clouded senses and he's nt the kind who dun like all these mushy stuff, so darn i dun think i can get away with these. well and all these while i have been initating smses, and nw tt i dun, he doesn't even bother..=( and when i was bz and still have to entertain smses from other guys, prolly i can feel the irritation lor..oh well he prolly did and being the super nice guy, he did the super nice thing of still replyin. i do feel pathetic lei..time to snap out of it...stat..eh fish it is nt fun to have crushes and now even mh has changed her stand..i cant help feelin veri much swayed

k get back to doin work... think can sleep at 2 am lor

Thoughts for the day...

1. When do u realise u probably fell in love big time with the guy??

Ans: When you are eating tom yam soup at thai express and you really wan to give your favourite prawns which you have been saving up to the last to the guy sitting nonchantly opposite you.

2. When do you realise u are in trouble?

Ans: When you know probably the guy siting nonchantly opposite you doesn't like you, you don't even bother offering the prawns to him cos he will reject you anyway and when you bite into the prawns, they don't taste that great anymore...hmmm

Morale of the story: Do not eat at Thai Express